Looking Back; Looking Ahead

"Overwhelmed by love" is the theme of life's opera for 2023

At Thanksgiving, we have a tradition of passing around a turkey leg and sharing a few words of gratitude (the turkey leg aspect a tradition via visionary cousin Maddie). This year, as the turkey leg made its way to me, I felt like a deer in the headlights. An abundance of beautiful images and moments flooded my mind, and my newborn mom brain floundered to find the words. Having had some time to percolate with this prompt, I have started to scratch the surface of my good fortune, but I’m nowhere near done.

Our new forever person
It is impossible to explain the emotional investment you have in a mystery tiny human before they make their debut. Once Bo arrived as a fully healthy, happy baby boy, we could breathe that deep sigh of relief and gratitude that we didn’t really know we were holding in. I’m so thankful for health, doctors, the power of the human body, and this awesome little boy we get to do life with now.  I’m also thankful that I still feel completely “Claire,” just with a cute sidekick now.

It’s been beautiful (and even a little fascinating) watching family respond to new life. Watching the people you love love your child is difficult to describe. It’s as though the movements and cycles of existence are before your very eyes; the old and the new are joined together and an inherent knowledge of life seems to fill the room.

Real love
Over the years, Erin has told me “your person is out there,” among other beautiful promises. They all came true. She was, of course, completely right. About everything! I am filled with gratitude for the amazing partnership that Ray provides for me every day. The idea of parenting a newborn with anyone else feels truly impossible. The idea of doing life without his friendship and love sounds downright terrible. I am spoiled and will forever be trying to catch up to his acts of service.

I’m thankful that my family “rushed the field” with love for our wedding early this year. The outpouring that we felt that day continues - we’re floating on those wings every day with the background understanding that we have our tribe and it’s a really good one.

Real friendship

Unexpectedly, I learned so much about friendship this year: what “showing up” really looks like. The value of quiet, consistent authenticity versus smoke and mirrors. The beauty of investing in the ones who have the capacity to love you throughout life’s milestones, growing with you. This category left me pained and vulnerable for a good part of the year, but ultimately helped me to grow in ways that I didn’t know I needed.

To borrow from Molly, I also count myself uniquely lucky to call my friends my family and my family my friends. The opportunity to invest my love and time into my broader family is one that I am very grateful for.

So much of this year was a blur, as usual. I often feel that we are drinking from the firehose of life. My hope for 2024 is to find more pockets of stillness so we might pause and enjoy all the beauty around us. I hope that my more tangible goals provide fulfillment instead of distraction (re-certifying my WFR, tackling a CNC exam, skiing 100 days, traveling Internationally). I hope that 2024 is filled with reading, writing, painting, skiing, exploring, laughing, getting caught in moments of awe, teaching Bo about life and seeing the world through his brand-new eyes, feeling gratitude for consistency and routine but taking chances on adventures and opportunities that might only come around once. To each of you who has stood by us, celebrated with us, laughed and cried with us, dined with us, played with us, cared for us - you know who you are, we know who you are, and we love you.